Schrödinger’s Polyp

Welcome to the dark humor phase of acceptance

Photorealistic detail of the polyp in question.

I had grand ideas of introducing my new Substack project with an ode to the idea that the universe is filled with more entropy than necessary and how reality ain't what it could be – Riffing on why I’m most at home with folks who’re constantly noodling on making things better, without making them worse in the process.

Then, last Monday, I got a call from my colonoscopy doctor.

I am 53 and I'd gone in two weeks ago for my very first colonoscopy. They say you should get one when you turn 50, but when you combine a global pandemic with my tendency to take care of other people before I take care of myself – well, it took me a while to get around to it.

When I came to from the procedure, my colonoscopist (which I am confident is a word because I just said it) showed me pictures of the nothing-to-worry-about polyps they found, along with a photo of a bigger one that looked a bit like an intestinal bully when compared to the others.

She was sending it out for tests to see if it was cancerous and said she'd call me by Friday of that week.

When I didn't hear from her on Friday, I didn't get too worried, and we dove into a weekend filled with The Last of Us, a Superb Owl, and setting up my studio to create audio and video content for this Reality Ain't project.

New studio setup… Who dis?

Then she called on Monday to say she'd run a few more tests and confirmed that my asshole polyp was cancerous.

Which brings us to the point in the story that we like to call "the dark humor phase of acceptance" – which, if we’re acknowledging where credit is due, is a term my wife came up with.

When I told my pals at work what was going on, I noted we had no way to tell without further tests, exams, and surgery whether this is NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT or ABSOLUTELY LIFE THREATENING.

Which is why I decided to call this little asshole, Schrödinger’s Polyp – because we won't really know what it is until they open me up.

So I'll let you know more once they get a bead on what's inside this little box of mine.

The regiment for now is – 1st a CT scan on Thursday, February 23rd (which, I just learned stands for a Computed Tomography) – Then I have a consult with the colon rectal surgeon in about a month.

I don't know about you, but the "in about a month" timeline is kinda disheveling given the "urgent colon rectal surgeon" referral I got – but maybe my idea of "urgent" ain't the standard definition as far as these timelines go.

In the off chance I've gotten caught in coordination limbo (which is the definition of "fun" for a program manager such as myself) – A dear friend of mine who had breast cancer last year recommended Fred Hutch (aka Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) as a great help in navigating all the doctors and steps in this kind of cancer journey. So I’m reaching out to them for help on this and a second opinion.

So that's what we know for now. Check-in periodically so see where things are at or hit that subscribe button. See you in the comments.